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By Teri Bildstein/ comments

Rules Of Marital Fashion

March 11, 2015
Rules Of Marital Fashion

So you have found yourself in the role of The Little Woman- Good for you!   We know it can be tricky to find your way to the altar; so we would like to share a few important fashion rules to help you remain secure as lady of the house.

1 - Your mini dresses have to go.

Those sexy short dresses are officially a No No. Have you ever heard of a man confident enough to walk beside a woman with her legs bared for the world to see?

Paul Bettany can hardly hide his shame to pose next to wife Jennifer Connelly.

2 - Likewise, you will have to give up the booty shorts.  

Sorry ladies, no more short shorts for summer!  No man can control their jealousy when considering your thighs exposed to the world.


Clearly, Jay-Z is disgusted by Beyonce’s shenanigans!

3 - Schedule a tattoo removal ASAP!   

Your ink may have served you well in your single days, you may have even aimed to show off your tattoos; but what man wants to envision a tattooed woman as mother for his children?


Brad is definitely reaching for a shawl to cover Angelina's tattoo.  Even if it does represent their children; he must be horrified by her brazen display of ink.

4- Hair should be neat and tidy.  

Men do not approve of radical hairstyles.

Carey Hart probably can’t stay away from Pink because he pities her inability to follow the Marital Rules of Fashion.

5 - Facial Piercings?

NEVER! Not anymore. We understand you may have taken time to select a unique nose ring but those days are over. You should really play it safe and just get rid of any unusual body jewelry that goes beyond a modern statement necklace.

Fergie probably keeps Josh Duhamel to her left so he can’t see her eyebrow ring.

6 -And yes, the controversial leggings MUST GO!  

What male ego could handle a woman sporting comfort and style by wearing leggings in public?

Wait….Kanye’s Ego is a bad example…..


Ashton is clearly ashamed of Mila’s public display of leggings. That  kiss is probably an attempt to avoid facial recognition.

Of course, we jest.  The reality is there are no rules for marital bliss other than those you make with your own husband or wife. We wish there were. It would certainly make married life easier.   

One thing's for sure, if you ever find yourself in divorce court because you decided to wear galaxy leggings as pants; then your spouse was a tool and spandex was probably the best decision you ever made.

Do you surrender any of your favorite styles for your spouse's comfort? Leave your feedback below!